Regarding to the previous post, i am very sure that N had read before but too bad N reacted nothing to it. At least i hope that N would say something. Or else, i really do not know what is N thinking. N did not even reply me anything at anywhere but when E said something, N replied. To me? Nothing to be said. Where is N standing? Situation is extremely not favourable to me! Very one-sided. Fuck...! I got bullied and none, especially N, said something. Yea la yea la... I am forever the bad one compared to other people around N. And E will forever do whatever E wants and continue to hurt me. Then, N will just let me try to get numb of it regardless whether i am hurt or not. Die la.. let me die la then... I know, i know that i should complain lesser but i just hope that N will try to comfort me.
Exam status: 1 down, 3 to go
Monday, April 14, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
~* Just Get Over It *~
I don't understand why E never knows the limit. E should know who E is and the stupidest person with THAT kind of status won't do that. Hey, i am not invinsible here and i have my own pride. By looking at what E has done, E is like "trespassing my territory" or going over the limit.
When the first time it happened, N also thought that what E had done was wrong too and told me that N would tell E's friend to hint on it. But nothing was done and i just got over it. And hey, E just did it again recently. I respect N and that's why i never confront E by myself since both of them are still meeting each other every week in a group. However, seriously, E is really over the limit with THAT status. If it is not because of N, i won't give E a damn.
Sigh~ what N scolded me is right that now is not the right time to talk about it and we have been close for a long period. But when i woke up, i kept on wondering if now is not the right time to talk about it or find a solution for it, then will next time will be the right time? I bet everytime is not going to be a right time at all in the future because it is always difficult to talk to someone else about the problem related to the someone else. I understand that. Also, it is because of N will have been forgotten about it. I understand and i am just wondering about it. I don't hope to get any feedback regarding this.
But, when it comes to me, again, i won't be given a damn talking about the problem related to me, just like how i was being scolded. And, instead of E's fault or at least E is partially liable for the fault, i was scolded as if it is really my own damn fault and has nothing to do with someone else! Like i create the trouble out of nowhere and it is just like digging my own grave. How sad... :( I got bullied here first, okay?
So, whenever i am facing the same or similar situations, i have to close one eye because i realise nothing will be done and when anything happens, i will get the blame first.
May be after posting this, i will be feeling better, forget about it for once more, and try to be generous and open-minded to it, so i won't be said or assumed that i am digging my own grave again. Let's observe when is the next time the same thing will be happening and i might be having the same thing here or might not be. God knows the power the blogging. By the way, in any matter, everytime i am the one who get blamed first and not others and it is forever my fault first.
Phew~ after this post, my heart just gets back the peace. Since nothing can be done or this problem can't be solve by discussing or confronting or sharing, thus here is the right place to let go the unsolved burden.
Seriously, i never blame N in this case. I just don't get what E wants. And because of E, i got scolded and E was just alright. A very one-sided thing. I am the one being not protected here when i am supposed to. E gets better and i get the worse. Because of what people do, i get the blame.
When the first time it happened, N also thought that what E had done was wrong too and told me that N would tell E's friend to hint on it. But nothing was done and i just got over it. And hey, E just did it again recently. I respect N and that's why i never confront E by myself since both of them are still meeting each other every week in a group. However, seriously, E is really over the limit with THAT status. If it is not because of N, i won't give E a damn.
Sigh~ what N scolded me is right that now is not the right time to talk about it and we have been close for a long period. But when i woke up, i kept on wondering if now is not the right time to talk about it or find a solution for it, then will next time will be the right time? I bet everytime is not going to be a right time at all in the future because it is always difficult to talk to someone else about the problem related to the someone else. I understand that. Also, it is because of N will have been forgotten about it. I understand and i am just wondering about it. I don't hope to get any feedback regarding this.
But, when it comes to me, again, i won't be given a damn talking about the problem related to me, just like how i was being scolded. And, instead of E's fault or at least E is partially liable for the fault, i was scolded as if it is really my own damn fault and has nothing to do with someone else! Like i create the trouble out of nowhere and it is just like digging my own grave. How sad... :( I got bullied here first, okay?
So, whenever i am facing the same or similar situations, i have to close one eye because i realise nothing will be done and when anything happens, i will get the blame first.
May be after posting this, i will be feeling better, forget about it for once more, and try to be generous and open-minded to it, so i won't be said or assumed that i am digging my own grave again. Let's observe when is the next time the same thing will be happening and i might be having the same thing here or might not be. God knows the power the blogging. By the way, in any matter, everytime i am the one who get blamed first and not others and it is forever my fault first.
Phew~ after this post, my heart just gets back the peace. Since nothing can be done or this problem can't be solve by discussing or confronting or sharing, thus here is the right place to let go the unsolved burden.
Seriously, i never blame N in this case. I just don't get what E wants. And because of E, i got scolded and E was just alright. A very one-sided thing. I am the one being not protected here when i am supposed to. E gets better and i get the worse. Because of what people do, i get the blame.
Friday, April 11, 2008
*~ Leading A Misery Life ~*
Dear Bloggie,
Life has been very difficult recently and i really don't know for how long i can stay. I have used all the patience i have to deal with this misery life of mine hoping everything will be fine soon. For now, every single aspect of my life is extremely terrible. Too many things are playing in my mind right now and they are really affecting me negatively. People around me always come and go, thus i am questioning who will always stand by my side. Yes, i do not deny that family members are always there for you, but they don't know as much as my friends know and sometimes, i just don't want them to worry so much.
I have been very tough even since during my childhood and it is not my choice to be tough, but the situations that i have gone through shape me to be like this. Yes, i do not deny that it is good to be tough so that i can learn how to face challenges and be independent. However, being tough always really makes me feel very tired. Thank God, until this moment, i still know how to be grateful that even though my life is tough, there are people whose life is even tougher than mine.
Who never think of ending their life before? Everyone does. So do i. But, i am just a coward who don't dare to do that. When i regain my consciousness everytime after i have that thought, i scold myself for thinking like that. I am too selfish to just end my life in a snap. How about people around me? It seems like my problems are solved by suiciding but actually, it creates more problems to people around me. Thank God, until this moment, i still know how to be grateful that my mum gave birth to me in a complete and good condition, and provides me with good standard of living, as i can observe there are people who are less fortunate than me.
Finally, i am sick and on top of my left eye swells. Everytime i blink my eyes, i can feel the pain and as if there is something which blocks a bit of my eyesight. Sigh...There are still a lot of things to be done. Exam is coming real soon, and Year 1 of my course is also coming to its end. Yes, there are three months of holiday but it does not mean i am going to be totally free. I will be working at the account department of a company which provides real estate and property services starting on the following Monday after the exam week. I hope this job really give me a lot of exposures since accounting is what i am studying now. It 's related. By the way, if you think that i still have Saturdays and Sundays, partially it is true, but i am still occupying myself with something. *Wink wink*
Why am i in rush? I just know i can waste no time and i must work when it comes to semester break or yearly break, unless if i can't find any job. Previously, if i had two weeks, i would get a job. If i had two months, i would also get a job. No need to mention further when it comes to the moment where i have three months break. I want to earn as much as i can so that i won't be struggling too much to pay back the study loan in future.
Again, i am questioning until when can i stand this misery life of mine.
Regards,
Autumn
Life has been very difficult recently and i really don't know for how long i can stay. I have used all the patience i have to deal with this misery life of mine hoping everything will be fine soon. For now, every single aspect of my life is extremely terrible. Too many things are playing in my mind right now and they are really affecting me negatively. People around me always come and go, thus i am questioning who will always stand by my side. Yes, i do not deny that family members are always there for you, but they don't know as much as my friends know and sometimes, i just don't want them to worry so much.
I have been very tough even since during my childhood and it is not my choice to be tough, but the situations that i have gone through shape me to be like this. Yes, i do not deny that it is good to be tough so that i can learn how to face challenges and be independent. However, being tough always really makes me feel very tired. Thank God, until this moment, i still know how to be grateful that even though my life is tough, there are people whose life is even tougher than mine.
Who never think of ending their life before? Everyone does. So do i. But, i am just a coward who don't dare to do that. When i regain my consciousness everytime after i have that thought, i scold myself for thinking like that. I am too selfish to just end my life in a snap. How about people around me? It seems like my problems are solved by suiciding but actually, it creates more problems to people around me. Thank God, until this moment, i still know how to be grateful that my mum gave birth to me in a complete and good condition, and provides me with good standard of living, as i can observe there are people who are less fortunate than me.
Finally, i am sick and on top of my left eye swells. Everytime i blink my eyes, i can feel the pain and as if there is something which blocks a bit of my eyesight. Sigh...There are still a lot of things to be done. Exam is coming real soon, and Year 1 of my course is also coming to its end. Yes, there are three months of holiday but it does not mean i am going to be totally free. I will be working at the account department of a company which provides real estate and property services starting on the following Monday after the exam week. I hope this job really give me a lot of exposures since accounting is what i am studying now. It 's related. By the way, if you think that i still have Saturdays and Sundays, partially it is true, but i am still occupying myself with something. *Wink wink*
Why am i in rush? I just know i can waste no time and i must work when it comes to semester break or yearly break, unless if i can't find any job. Previously, if i had two weeks, i would get a job. If i had two months, i would also get a job. No need to mention further when it comes to the moment where i have three months break. I want to earn as much as i can so that i won't be struggling too much to pay back the study loan in future.
Again, i am questioning until when can i stand this misery life of mine.
Regards,
Autumn
Thursday, April 10, 2008
~* A Failed Study Plan *~
After Gideon attended the interview with AC Nielsen at PJ, he came down to Pavilion, Bukit Bintang and initially it was a study plan. We did not know what we should have for lunch and finally, we had chosen Tony Roma's. I know that it is a bit pricy but never mind. A better meal before we really suffer until the next Saturday due to exam.
Okay... Soup of The Day: Tortilla soup...
My Chicken Bowtie Pasta. It could feel my lips were greasy due to the olive oil in the pasta. But it was healthy with cubes of tomato and the olive oil. Then there were also slices of chicken and cheese sprinkled on top of it.
Gideon's Marinated Chicken Grill. Well, the portion for the chicken is quite small, but not the fries! Oh ya, the set lunches come with a drink as well and it has free refill. Don't even need to refill because the glass is like a Big Gulp you can find at 7-11. And, it was the first time i felt that the 10% of service charge was worth paying. People there really served with manner. After the meal, they would give Mentos Mint and toothpicks. They even helped the customers to unwrapped the hot tissue and handed it to them (including us).
Supposed that the study plan was at Coffee Bean but it failed in the end because Gideon was too tired. He slept late yesterday due to studies and woke up very early due to the interview at AC Nielsen. However, he managed to grab a drink before decided not to study.
On our way back, we could still drop by at Machines at Lot 10 and played with the Apple Ipod Touch. Haha... Gideon visited his blog there.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
*~ The Thread ~*
When you pull too hard, the string will just snap.
It even snaps easily when it is not even a string, but i would call it a thread.
My world is fulled with dilemmas at every single corner.
~* Almost There... *~
My position is getting lower and lower.
It's coming to the last place now.
Although it may be not be exactly the last one, but yeah, almost there.
At the same time, life is so *tut* up in EVERY single aspect.
It's coming to the last place now.
Although it may be not be exactly the last one, but yeah, almost there.
At the same time, life is so *tut* up in EVERY single aspect.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
*~ Groovy Groovy ~*
Date: 7th April 2008
Venue: Damansara
...the bitch again!
Camwhoring session at Sushi Groove, One Utama while waiting for the food.
My Ebi Don Buri. This was delicious. May be i was starving that time, so it would be extremely delicious for me. At Sushi King, when you order this from the menu, there will be no sauce for the rice and you have to add in the soy sauce by yourself. But this was different! There was soy sauce in the rice and a layer of egg with onion on top of the rice. Seriously, it was so so so tasty!
Gideon's Tori Chicken Sprinkles on Rice. Besides the grilled chicken, they even added in minced chicken meat... Gideon said, "It is meaty~". I was failed in taking the picture of soba that the bitch ordered, and i gave up because i was really hungry! I could not wait to start eating my Ebi Don Buri!
Here is the Flying Geisha sushi... Err... which part of it looked like a flying geisha? =P
Nothing else to be done and so the bitch dared me to eat wasabi. Fine! I ate and i did not feel the effect in my mouth. But once it was in my stomach, i could feel it and it made my stomach feeling upset. Buek~ This bitch ate it and he cried out... Sob sob.. Congratulations! =P
From One Utama, we went to Ikea at Ikano Power Centre and these two guys made it as if it was their house! -_-"
Owh~ Gideon's new friend.
Camwhoring again in the cinema. Luckily the movie had not started yet and we were not accused for illegally recording the movie. By the way, we watched The Spiderwick Chronicles and it was not bad, or else, i had already chopped off that bitch.
Okay okay.... That's all about the outing yesterday. Exam is coming next week and a lot of studies have to be done. And let's hope i am not going to be jobless after the exam.
BACK TO THE TRACK!
STUDY STUDY STUDY!
Venue: Damansara
Yesterday there was no class, and we met up with...
...the bitch again!
Camwhoring session at Sushi Groove, One Utama while waiting for the food.
My Ebi Don Buri. This was delicious. May be i was starving that time, so it would be extremely delicious for me. At Sushi King, when you order this from the menu, there will be no sauce for the rice and you have to add in the soy sauce by yourself. But this was different! There was soy sauce in the rice and a layer of egg with onion on top of the rice. Seriously, it was so so so tasty!
Gideon's Tori Chicken Sprinkles on Rice. Besides the grilled chicken, they even added in minced chicken meat... Gideon said, "It is meaty~". I was failed in taking the picture of soba that the bitch ordered, and i gave up because i was really hungry! I could not wait to start eating my Ebi Don Buri!
Here is the Flying Geisha sushi... Err... which part of it looked like a flying geisha? =P
Nothing else to be done and so the bitch dared me to eat wasabi. Fine! I ate and i did not feel the effect in my mouth. But once it was in my stomach, i could feel it and it made my stomach feeling upset. Buek~ This bitch ate it and he cried out... Sob sob.. Congratulations! =P
From One Utama, we went to Ikea at Ikano Power Centre and these two guys made it as if it was their house! -_-"
Owh~ Gideon's new friend.
Camwhoring again in the cinema. Luckily the movie had not started yet and we were not accused for illegally recording the movie. By the way, we watched The Spiderwick Chronicles and it was not bad, or else, i had already chopped off that bitch.
Okay okay.... That's all about the outing yesterday. Exam is coming next week and a lot of studies have to be done. And let's hope i am not going to be jobless after the exam.BACK TO THE TRACK!
STUDY STUDY STUDY!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
~* The Apes *~
After watching Planet of The Apes yesterday night on TV3, there were some characters which looked familiar to me.
Okay... The first character...
The second character...
The third character... OOPS! NO...! This is MICHAEL JACKSON!But then, i really thought that he is from the same species as the apes.
He really looks like one of them!
*eyes rolling*
Friday, April 4, 2008
*~ The Not-So-Good Sakae Sushi ~*
After college, Gideon and I went to Bukit Bintang and our first stop was Sakae Sushi at Pavilion.
Our first time there and at first, everything was quite cool where the place has touch screens for customers to place their orders, ask for helps or bills.
I woould not deny that their salmon sushi is very cheap compared to other Japanese restaurant which is only RM 1.90 per plate. Until this very moment, everything was still okay.
The miso soup is RM 1.90 per bowl... Still okay....
Fried tofu for RM 1.90... Still okay...
But, other than that, others are sucked!
A cup of green tea with roasted rice (which tasted like those burned claypot rice) was RM 2.00.
Most of the sushi items are not only expensive, but also tasted weird.
For instance, anything to do with the salmon skin. Buek~
Even their bento, udon, etc are also very pricy.
The soy sauce? Salty like nobody's business!
I was not satisfied with the meal at all!
Sushi Zanmai is still my favourite!
It looked nice, but the taste was weird...
This tasted weird too...
Then, we walked around at Pavilion, Lot 10, and Sungai Wang.
Suddenly i felt like eating dessert so much and my mum told me that the favourite dessert shop at Imbi has moved to Low Yat there.
We found that shop!
It was outside Low Yat Plaza, opposite Coffee Bean.
Since we did not eat much earlier and we ate until not feeling satisfied at all, we ordered one Loh Mai Kai at the dessert shop.
Although it is a dessert shop, it still offers some dim sum, main courses like ramen and rice.
And of course, my main reason to be at the shop is because of the dessert :)
Here... my mango sai mai lou.... :)
Looked so yummy~
Eating here was so much more better!
At least i was satisfied after that.
On our way back to Times Square, i spotted the rainbow~!
Owh~ it was so nice to look at it with my dear :)
I really had a nice evening with dear~
Thursday, April 3, 2008
~* A Good Offer That I Had Rejected *~
I went to Adecco with Seak Ling to register myself with the recruitment agency. I can't depend on Kelly Services alone to get me temporary positions. Sometimes, people from Kelly Services are too busy to entertain the candidates as they are too busy with their clients. After i have finished my first year in two weeks time, the next three months are very important and busy for me. I need to get a temporary position, hopefully for the exact three months, so that i can fully use the period to work and earn as much as i can.
After Adecco, we headed to Kelly Services to talk to the consultant who was introduced by my previous agent who used to work there. It is important to keep in touch (nag is the other word) with the consultants because they tend to forget you if you don't keep on asking them on the status of the temporary position. Besides meeting my new consultant, Seak Ling also registered herself there as a new candidate.
At Kelly Services, i was instantly offered with a position as a data entry assistant for RM 9.80 per hour. That rate is really a good offer for data entry. It is a Singapore-based company and also a company of Toyota. It is located at Jalan Raja Chulan which is just opposite Menara Boustead. If i am going to accept the job assignment, i am reporting to a Japanese guy. However, i had rejected this offer because it required me to start tomorrow, which i can't! I am only available from 21st of April onwards.... Sigh~ What a good offer that i was forced to turn down.
After Adecco, we headed to Kelly Services to talk to the consultant who was introduced by my previous agent who used to work there. It is important to keep in touch (nag is the other word) with the consultants because they tend to forget you if you don't keep on asking them on the status of the temporary position. Besides meeting my new consultant, Seak Ling also registered herself there as a new candidate.
At Kelly Services, i was instantly offered with a position as a data entry assistant for RM 9.80 per hour. That rate is really a good offer for data entry. It is a Singapore-based company and also a company of Toyota. It is located at Jalan Raja Chulan which is just opposite Menara Boustead. If i am going to accept the job assignment, i am reporting to a Japanese guy. However, i had rejected this offer because it required me to start tomorrow, which i can't! I am only available from 21st of April onwards.... Sigh~ What a good offer that i was forced to turn down.
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