I don't understand why E never knows the limit. E should know who E is and the stupidest person with THAT kind of status won't do that. Hey, i am not invinsible here and i have my own pride. By looking at what E has done, E is like "trespassing my territory" or going over the limit.
When the first time it happened, N also thought that what E had done was wrong too and told me that N would tell E's friend to hint on it. But nothing was done and i just got over it. And hey, E just did it again recently. I respect N and that's why i never confront E by myself since both of them are still meeting each other every week in a group. However, seriously, E is really over the limit with THAT status. If it is not because of N, i won't give E a damn.
Sigh~ what N scolded me is right that now is not the right time to talk about it and we have been close for a long period. But when i woke up, i kept on wondering if now is not the right time to talk about it or find a solution for it, then will next time will be the right time? I bet everytime is not going to be a right time at all in the future because it is always difficult to talk to someone else about the problem related to the someone else. I understand that. Also, it is because of N will have been forgotten about it. I understand and i am just wondering about it. I don't hope to get any feedback regarding this.
But, when it comes to me, again, i won't be given a damn talking about the problem related to me, just like how i was being scolded. And, instead of E's fault or at least E is partially liable for the fault, i was scolded as if it is really my own damn fault and has nothing to do with someone else! Like i create the trouble out of nowhere and it is just like digging my own grave. How sad... :( I got bullied here first, okay?
So, whenever i am facing the same or similar situations, i have to close one eye because i realise nothing will be done and when anything happens, i will get the blame first.
May be after posting this, i will be feeling better, forget about it for once more, and try to be generous and open-minded to it, so i won't be said or assumed that i am digging my own grave again. Let's observe when is the next time the same thing will be happening and i might be having the same thing here or might not be. God knows the power the blogging. By the way, in any matter, everytime i am the one who get blamed first and not others and it is forever my fault first.
Phew~ after this post, my heart just gets back the peace. Since nothing can be done or this problem can't be solve by discussing or confronting or sharing, thus here is the right place to let go the unsolved burden.
Seriously, i never blame N in this case. I just don't get what E wants. And because of E, i got scolded and E was just alright. A very one-sided thing. I am the one being not protected here when i am supposed to. E gets better and i get the worse. Because of what people do, i get the blame.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
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