Saturday, May 31, 2008

*~ Embarrassing Saturday ~*

Oh Gosh! On my way to meet Nick for lunch, i kept on thinking about getting a laptop. What if i get myself a laptop? What can i do with it? But, it is a want and not really a need for me!

Then, at Bintang Circle, Pavilion, HP was having their roadshow there for the HP 2133 Mini-Note PC. Real nice but of course Sony Vaio mini laptops were nicer last time. I tried playing with it while waiting for Nick. Really not bad. The notebook is not in the market yet but it is going to be released somewhere end of June with the price RM2,299. I'm considering.

After having lunch with Nick (who needed to start working at 2pm), then tea time with my cousin (who had her break at 4 pm), i had nothing else to do. Yea~ seriously nothing else to do. What did i do? Entertained myself at the HP road show again by watching performances from a group of dancers from Sydney, Australia.

Later, came this guy asking me if i wanted to have temporary tattoo and the conversation started like this:

The HP Guy:
Do you want to have this tattoo? May be here... here or here?
*Pointing several places on his arm*

Err... Okay...

The HP Guy:
So, where do you want it to be?

Err... Up to you.

The HP Guy:
This is like having an injection.
*Dabbing on the tattoo paper using a wet sponge to make sure the tattoo sticked on my arm*

*Paused* [In my mind: What should i say now?]
Oh... No worries. I am not afraid of injection.

Yesh, i thanked him after that and looked at him persuading a little girl in front of me to have another tattoo though the little girl already had one. Few minutes later, he came back again and this time he handled to me a neck strap. I just smiled at him and said no to it because i had one earlier. Politely, he thanked me but seriously, why thanked me? For what reason? Clueless about it.

I still did not feel like going home at all until i was invited to participate in the game. He looked at me and to be polite, i smiled at him and waved la... Oh Gosh! Then, i lost in that game [though i still got goodies bag in the end]. Malunya.... I did not want to stay any longer. I just grabbed my stuffs and went off. It was a very very wrong decision to join in the game. I told my friend on the phone when she called me. Her reply was, "Never mind la... Reflected your cuteness when you joined in mah..." =_=" I was speechless about it and still feeling embarrassed!

By the way, after spending so much time there, i found out that there is another issue for me to consider. The notebook does not have CD-ROM drive. However, i can get the portable one, right? I am still considering about it. It seems like i get the green light from my mum already. :)

I will stop considering and instead, immediately get one when it is released if i can find people to sponsor financially even if it is a partial sponsorship. Muahaha...

I should stop thinking now and only look into it when it is released to the market. *Stop thinking* *Stop dreaming* *Stop thinking* *Stop dreaming*

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

~* Shopping Shopping *~

Whee~ I got my pay!
I am going to use part of it for this:

RM 120.00 for MNG vouchers worth RM250.00
RM6.00 as the shipping fee
RM10.00 (the amount i used for the whole bidding process)
I was supposed to be happy after knowing the vouchers are mine until i read this
"Each voucher is valid for SINGLE purchase only, no combination of voucher is allowed"
There are five RM50.00 vouchers, so i am going to have 5 items from MNG and i need to pay extra for each transaction that exceeds RM50.00.
I thought further.
Everything is still worth it!
By the way, my first choice was the vouchers from Forever 21 and not MNG.
Never mind.
MNG is still alright.
Today, i finally got the chance to dine at Yo! Sushi for lunch.
Err... may be my expectation before this was too high, ended up i had this feeling that Sushi King is slightly better.
David paid for the lunch, so i should not complain so much.
Thank you, David!
P/S: As requested, a bit of advertising for you.
David is young, single, rich and working as a lawyer. Feeling interested? Inform me, okay?

*~ Sucky Sucky Life ~*

Dear Bloggie,

I have been working for a month. Everything seems going quite well except for some aspects and some days. I have another two months to go and in this period, i really don't want to offend anyone even if i have negative view on that person (but the negative view is getting positive because i am not being offended yet). If they treat me well, i won't treat them worse. However, i won't deny that there are people in the firm who really treat me good all the time. Since i am the youngest there, the care that i get sometimes does reflect the childish side of me.

The world is unfair. And i am seriously clueless why he is so damn lucky. Oops... I almost forget. Life is always that unfair. If life is fair, there would be no poor and rich, smartass and dumbass.

Nothing to worry about being a child. I did not even know how to cry when my dad passed away when i was five. I only cried when my mum said, "Call your dad for the last time or else you won't have any more chance in the future". I cried but i still did not know the meaning of death.

Referring back the post entitled "Leading A Misery Life", i once wrote, "Thank God, until this moment, i still know how to be grateful that my mum gave birth to me in a complete and good condition, and provides me with good standard of living, as i can observe there are people who are less fortunate than me". However, being a city girl, most of the time, i will try to compare myself with others to see how good they are so that i will try to achieve the same life. Thus, comparing myself to others who are less fortunate to make myself feeling grateful and comparing myself to others who more fortunate to make myself more so-called motivated to achieve that same life.

I am leading a misery life right now. I am working too hard for everything. Just too hard! Even though it seems like i am not working too hard! But i am working too hard for everything!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

~* High Glucose Day *~

It had been a long day for me yesterday. It started when i had buffet high tea at Dorsett Regency Hotel to celebrate my aunt's birthday. Seriously, there were not many choices of food but still delicious. I forgot to snap some pictures of the food except for this one. It was my first favourite there and the sauce is sooo nice and soooo creamy. If this was my first favourite, of course i would have my second favourite as well which was the irresistable tomyam! Oh my God, recently i always feed myself with tomyam without bothering of getting stomachache after that.

Then, i paid an unexpected visit to Nick who is now working at Ochacha, Pavilion. He treated me this drink and it was definitely better than Starbucks Green Tea Frappucino. You may go and have a try. Good atmosphere there and if i am not mistaken, the place has WiFi too. So, you can bring your laptop together, do some internet surfing, enjoy the drink of your choice and have a dessert!

Funny. This girl came in with her boyfriend to Ochacha. She looked to familiar to me but i really had no idea who she was. I just stared at her and wondered. She stared at me too! Then, she started to do those sign languages and lips movements like waving at me, asking if i was alone and if Nick is my friend. At that moment, i thought she knew me since she was the one started to communicate with me first. Also, for being polite, i did respond to her. Then, she came over and the conversation was as follow:

She: Actually, do you know me?
Me: Err... No. But you do look so familiar to me.
She: Yeah... Me too. I thought that i know you.
Me: Har? So, you actually have no idea on who i am?
She: I don't think so.
Me: Then, why did you communicate with me at the first place?
She: I don't know. Err... never mind. I will go back to my own table.
Me: Okay. *sweat* =_="

She was just making me so speechless..... =_="

I really wanted to go home after that, but my cousin sister bumped into me at Lot 10 and she left earlier from work to accompany me after seeing me so lonely and had nothing to do. Well, i returned to Pavilion again with her to walk around. Just at Forever 21 itself, we had already spent a lot of time there looking for nice clothes and trying them. Forever 21, i will be back! Oh my God, we actually shopped until all of the shops were closed down and the cleaners were preparing to do their job.

Oh ya, before i went home, i actually had a durian tart from John King. It was so delicious... But don't try the egg tart. Not nice. You want nice egg tart, go for Tong Kee Brothers'.

Knowing that i will be getting my pay, i just can't resist and i can't wait to shop, shop, shop and shop! I'm waiting for the moment to come. :D

Saturday, May 24, 2008

*~ My Business Law Paper ~*

Yes! I have passed my Business Law paper with a credit!
The paper which i was worried about before this!
I know a credit is not that great, but you all should know that many of us or almost all of us were struggling to pass the paper?
In case my colleagues, especially the lawyers, are wondering why were we struggling for that, come and ask me and i will tell you the reasons.
*Wink wink*
Oh well, this is only the first law paper in the entire course.
I have another law paper in my second year which is Company Law!

Friday, May 23, 2008

~* Random Thoughts *~

Too many things are in my mind right now and they are just too random!

According to the Chinese horoscope description, single Dragons have to wait until next year before they meet their another half.

I don't believe.
I believe.
I don't believe.
I believe.

Whee~ One month has passed and i am getting my pay few days later. =D
Money... money... Come to me, baby...
However, it also means a new beginning for me. A new month, a new beginning. Another month to go before getting the next pay. T.T

People at work have been pampering me with food. Yes, they are. Some of them even pay for me when i go out to have lunch with them. I should have an agreement between me and them mentioning that i am supposed to pay for my own food. I don't know whether it is because i am a girl or i am a student. By the way, thank you so much....

The damn results are supposed to be out today! I had been waiting for the whole day anxiously!

High school friends, whether they are close to me or not, were really giving their support when they knew what happened to me recently. I also managed to talk and catch up with some friends whom i lost contact with last time.

Even my friends from the foundation course last time, especially my dearest son and daughter, did the same by giving their full support to their mum who is ME!

My colleagues too! I got different advices from them!

The most important person is my mum. The one who always stays by my side throughout my difficult moments. =)

Thank you for the support i got from you all...

I need to plan for the camp in June at Hulu Langat! I am given the honour to do so by my high school counsellor. Yes, my high school counsellor. I am still contributing to the school until today. Hey... you think after i got my Vandort Shield award ( It is the most honourable award in my high school, okay! No kidding...) and my contribution to the school stopped there. No way....

Am i just being stupid or what when i think of having a serious relationship and not puppy love at this young age?

I need to boost my confidence again. I always have confidence in myself, but in the previous relationship, i had someone by myside and so i did not have to stand that strong. However, the case is different now.

I also need to have what a single young lady should have to remain or become more attractive. Hahaha.... Ceh wah...

Okay okay... Stop laughing laaa, people... Shh! I know i am not attractive la... I don't need you all to make me realise about it. =_="

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

*~ Where It Gets Wrong ~*

I just realised something. The more he treats me worse after the break up, the more i feel heartache, and the more i think of getting back together because of the heartache. Everytime, my words just go back round and round and round when i don't get the better treatment that i am expecting as a friend.

If he could just treat me better after the break up, he would make my days so much better and easy to go through without trying to look back. However, this is not the fact. The fact is even when if i try so hard to become a friend, he would make me feeling so worst and i start to think nonsense that he hates the most again. Every little thing i do, he will insist that the things i want from him come in the kind which should be provided by a boyfriend. In the end, what i have become is worse than his friends and what i get is worse than his friends. This is now, however, before this, at the very beginning, i was also a bit sui sui yong la... He tried to be good but i just wanted to go back together with him.

He builds the wall so high up and thick! I have lost everything that i could get from him suddenly and i am not entitled his care and his comfort. Mercy on me, please. He once said that he actually would care for me after the break up, but it did not really work out as i mentioned that i was quite sui sui yong at the very beginning. After that, it was his turn to become sui sui yong. The so called care actually existed once, sincere and i felt it the day after we broke up. Weird but true that at that one moment itself, i felt so comfortable about the care he provided without thinking the possibility of getting back together. Whoa I did not dare to tell him because at that moment, i was still hoping to get back mah...Then, it was just the first day we broke up mah... After that leh? Nah... i wish ler.

That's why, never ever judge people from one side.

This is just not another lie to myself and i want to make it a truth. An explanation to myself. It is time to redeem myself.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

~* Big Fat Lies To Myself *~

I am just lying to myself all the while that i have moved on, i am alright and i have got rid of him. They are all lies. Totally lies! And i got lies from him too after the break up. Funny. Who am i for him to still telling me truths, doing what he has said, caring about me and replying me? I am nothing and stop telling me i am something to you. I have become someone worse than his friends. As always, the ways he treats his friends never fail to disappoint the friends.

I got to know from him during a shouting phone conversation that people around him said that he should be mad at me for posting each fucking break up every single detail here and he had chosen not to say. Define your meaning of "every single detail", please. This really made me so fucking pissed off! People out there, let me tell you something. There were a lot of things between me and him that you all never watched before. Things which always made me the fucking damn bitch. Right before i even posted on our break up, i actually wanted to post about every single day after we broke up. However, i did not do that.

Instead, i actually posted on how upset i was (and i am still fucking upset until this damn moment) and how it actually affected my days. Then, on how people around me concerned about me. With no bias in that damn post! Thus, stop judging the damn book by its cover and stop having prejudice on me! I have suffered enough! Just because of a post in my blog, you all said he should be mad at me. You all please ask him how he treated me after the break up. Be fair!

The next time i meet you guys, please stop pretending in front of me. I hate pretenders especially those who see me often and are going to say "Hi" to me, but actually hate me until deep down the earth just because on how i managed this extremely hurtful relationship. I am dealing with him alone is freaking enough and i don't need you all to judge me just from his damn side.

And what i wrote as a comment for his latest post was damn true. He chose to break up. He chose to stay with the job. Then, he has to live with it and live better than me and not worse than me! But, i am the one with no choice. Not even of getting back. And i have to deal with the break up of no chance of getting back. I am not writing shit!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

*~ Jogoya @ Starhill Gallery ~*

For dinner, it is around RM100.00 per person and it is really worth!
Where can you find one whole steam fish

AND grilled cod fish

And a plate of mixed mushrooms dish like this

And Baskin Robbins AND Haagen Daz ice-cream

And variety of sushi
AND other dishes
AND fresh oysters

AND Tomyam (By the way, it is really paper and not the shape of the bowl...)

AND my favourite tomato candy

AND Teppanyaki
AND liquors
AND a corner with different types of cake in the fridge


Yes, all these are available at Jogoya Japanese Buffet.

~* Mother's Day *~

The tulip i got for myself last Saturday at Sungai Wang. RM 6.00 per stalk. Never mind. It is for charity and in return, i got for myself flower. Pathetic. No one is going to buy flower for me so i have to buy it for myself. =_="

My cousin in Netherland is going to laugh at me. All the tulips available at Sungai Wang on that day were from Europe and here by KLM Royal Dutch Airlines. And only recently, she sent to me pictures of her family at a field totally fulled with tulips! Then, there i got for myself a stalk of tulip for RM 6.00. =_="

Oh well, in the evening my mum, bro and i celebrated Mother's Day at T.G.I. Friday. Yes, it was a day earlier. Our initial plan was at Tony Roma's as requested by my mum, but my bro insisted T.G.I. Friday as T.G.I.F has more choices. Due to good recommendation from my bro, i ordered Jack Daniel's shrimps and chicken. Yum yum~ The sauce was extremely delicious! But i was really having difficulty to finish the French beans. Yucks~

Sunday, May 11, 2008

*~ The Break Up ~*

You all must be wondering the reason i did not post anything for almost the past two weeks. Those who knew what had happened to me would think that i was too upset to post. Yes.... I was very upset the first few days after the incident happened. What had happened? I...i...i... He ended the our relationship of one year and almost five months.

Some of you who read his blog would have realised something was wrong there. Then, looking at my blog with no update previously during the same period, you all must be assuming the other way round as in i was the one suggested the break up. No...

Break up... Broke up... Break up... Broke up... Whatever. People out there, don't feel surprise. No need to have your jaw dropped and your eyes popped out. Problems just occured but there were invisible for you all. I bet most of you are covering your mouth laughing at me and saying i am deserved being dumped. But some of you will feel bad for me.

Before this, i thought that my life would be a disaster without him. Thus, the first few days after the break up, i begged him like nobody's business. Kept sending him messages and he would not reply once i mentioned about getting back together. It was a living hell and burning me alive! Lost appetite (I was fine with it because i took it as a diet plan). Cried myself to sleep everynight. Dreamt about him few times a night. Had my heart beating and "sour" every morning when i woke up realising that he was not together with me anymore.

However, totally out of my expectation, i moved on way too fast compared to other people whom once (or more than that) involved in a relationship that long. It was just few days after the break up! It might be due to the work i am currently doing now. I love the job so much. I love the people there. I love the environment there. Few hours later, it is already lunch time. Few hours later, it is time to go home. Few hours later, i am too tired and it is time to sleep.

Seeing me recovering extremely fast, my best friend said that i am just too upset even until now. Too upset until the moment i am numb of everything. I don't know how to cry anymore. I don't even know how to describe what happened anymore. Apparently, it seems like that i am recovering, but i am not. I am just forcing myself too hard to accept the fact. This is according to what she said.

People are expecting me to be very upset as they once knew how much this relationship meant to me. They were too surprised to see me as if nothing had happened. Like i said, i am too numb outside, and too hurtful inside.

However (again), i seriously have no idea what will happen in future especially when it is time to start college. Seriously. Facing our mutual friends. Going out together. Seeing him having another girlfriend (This hurts especially when i am dumped and still going to meet each other often unless i am really and truely moved on with life).

Some of my friends really went through the tough moment with me. Some of them even felt like sobbing when they saw me crying. Some even scolded me for being so silly and still hoping that he would come back to me. My mum also actually went through al these tough moments of the break up with me [Owh~ i really felt her love there].

He, from being a boyfriend, has become my ex.
My ex, from being an ex, has become my ex[square].

If my ex[square] is reading this post, he must be darn happy to know that i am dumped. Whatever my ex did to me when i begged him to come back to me, i did it once to me ex[square]. It is a curse! It is curse! No larr.... It is just a life cycle... (Damn!)

After the break up, i realised something which really pushed me far far away from him. I told him, "Being tired in a relationship is an excuse. If you truly love someone, you will still hang on no matter how tired you are. And even if you really still feeling tired, you will not ask for a break up permanently, but a period for each other to rest before getting back together. Based on what you have said to me, i guess you just don't have the feeling for me anymore". I won't be blaming him for this. I should be responsible too for what had happened to us.

I did not say it for no reason, but i went through the same thing. Once, i was tired to be with him as well but i still remained there. Not even once i was trying to suggest a break up.

Oh well.. nothing much. Just that sometimes:

  • Seeing other people dating reminds me how both of us dated before.
  • Wish that he is by myside when i am alone.
  • Dream about him at night.
  • Missing the moment of cuddling, attending event together, watching movie together, sharing food together, etc etc etc...

Those stuffs in Friendster, Facebook, my phone, MSN, i will just let them be first...