*~ Where It Gets Wrong ~*

I just realised something. The more he treats me worse after the break up, the more i feel heartache, and the more i think of getting back together because of the heartache. Everytime, my words just go back round and round and round when i don't get the better treatment that i am expecting as a friend.

If he could just treat me better after the break up, he would make my days so much better and easy to go through without trying to look back. However, this is not the fact. The fact is even when if i try so hard to become a friend, he would make me feeling so worst and i start to think nonsense that he hates the most again. Every little thing i do, he will insist that the things i want from him come in the kind which should be provided by a boyfriend. In the end, what i have become is worse than his friends and what i get is worse than his friends. This is now, however, before this, at the very beginning, i was also a bit sui sui yong la... He tried to be good but i just wanted to go back together with him.

He builds the wall so high up and thick! I have lost everything that i could get from him suddenly and i am not entitled his care and his comfort. Mercy on me, please. He once said that he actually would care for me after the break up, but it did not really work out as i mentioned that i was quite sui sui yong at the very beginning. After that, it was his turn to become sui sui yong. The so called care actually existed once, sincere and i felt it the day after we broke up. Weird but true that at that one moment itself, i felt so comfortable about the care he provided without thinking the possibility of getting back together. Whoa I did not dare to tell him because at that moment, i was still hoping to get back mah...Then, it was just the first day we broke up mah... After that leh? Nah... i wish ler.

That's why, never ever judge people from one side.

This is just not another lie to myself and i want to make it a truth. An explanation to myself. It is time to redeem myself.